18歲的“女姚明”魏偉

為什麼放上這位身高2米06的大陸女籃新長人呢?
呃,我詞窮了,我只能說,不予回應,No Comment
平常我都會把我的文自推一下,不過這篇就免了

娛樂界最高境界自愚娛人,面子跟娛樂大家比起來算什麼?
親朋好友們,我有娛樂你們了,夠有誠意了吧!

情人節之宅男當自強

又到了一年一度的祭典,傳說中的月黑風高失身夜,台灣摩鐵業一年三度的業績大車拼(七夕跟聖誕節也是,)地不分南北,人不分老少,大家開房間,QK要排隊,全民的活塞運動.

本文用的圖是NYC Condom的廣告,"New York, we've got you covered."動作片裡to have got you covered一般是表示放心去吧,我掩護你.這個廣告今天超適合用的,保險套公司應該來個"It's St. Valentine's day. Have fun. We've got you covered."中文版可以考慮"套了再上",不過台灣可能無法播放,因為有違反善良風俗的嫌疑.

另外天蠍座後段射手座前段出生的朋友不妨推算一下自己是不是父母2月14的結晶,如果無意間發現伯父伯母居然是你出生同一年的3月以後結婚的,恭喜,首先因為好險當年沒被打掉,還有多了個可以取笑父母的梗.

一直酸這個舉國歡騰,摩鐵健身的節日未免不太公平,基於平衡報導(Fair Report)的原則,情人節的來由簡單介紹如下:
二月十四日的聖范倫坦斯日（St. Valentine's Day） ，紀念基督教的殉道者范倫坦斯？因為到了公元二百七十年，羅馬是個反基督教的國家，許多基督徒遭受迫害。另外，當時皇帝革老丟二世禁止士兵婚嫁，而有個基督徒范倫坦斯不僅反抗皇上禁令，拒絕敬拜羅馬神祗，並且秘密地替未婚男女舉行婚禮，因此被逮捕，入獄，並於二月十四日被砍頭。 所以二月十四日以後就紀念殉道者聖范倫坦斯。在西方演變成二月十四日這天寄卡片或送禮物給所愛的人，並且不限於情人，父母、兄弟姊妹、朋友、老師...都可以。

話題回歸宅男陣營,這種節日單身宅男該如何悲慘的度過呢?首先,先收集一下各大知名摩鐵的報價,然後慶幸省下這筆錢,喔,出乎意料的多嗎?這是好的開始,然後再看下應景的禮品網購,沒錯,再度把這列入機會成本,開源不易節流為先,沒花掉的就當賺到,有開心了點嗎?然後用這筆錢買台電暖器應該是綽綽有餘,取暖有很多方法,山不轉路轉,非生物性解決方案也是不錯.如果想要培養出燒炭的情緒,不妨去街上尤其是各大摩鐵附近,看看別人車上的妹有多正,然後回家把光碟放進電腦,堅守宅男的崗位.把自己推到心酸的極點.

以上是自虐的宅男情人節建議,如果要比較正面積極的,首先要去找到一步片(沒有錯字真的是一步片),帶著你的不平轉化為能量,把一步片放進播放器或是電腦,劑量隨個人身體狀況調適,可以考慮一集做20個伏地挺身的輕鬆方案,或是主題曲25下,出現輪擺式位移時追加25下,每集50下的豪華方案,搭配揮拳練習,看完5集保證熱血沸騰,身心舒暢,不過不是經常運動的可能要外加約250元肌樂的成本.

情人節送大家健身最佳卡通:第一神拳(讓鷹村跟幕之內一步幫你打散所有鬱卒吧!!!)

嚐試笑中帶淚的長江七號

過年前天跟小朋友去看了周星馳的長江七號,坦白說原先看這部電影的意願不高,因為我對星爺的前兩部作品是蠻失望的(個人觀點,熱愛功夫跟少林足球的朋友請見諒.純粹把鬼點子搞笑橋段雜湊起來不是小弟的菜.)而電視廣告又都是在強調那個誇張的運動橋段跟動畫的部份,就有點提不起興趣.

不過今天由於時間配合的巧合(同學宿舍有門禁,)最後還是進去看了長江七號,結果,我必須說這是個意外的驚喜,雖然某些橋段個人認為爲了搞笑有破壞全片的整體性,但是大致上瑕不掩瑜是不錯的一部電影,感覺上星爺試圖走出一條新的路線,片中試圖去刻畫貧富差距及藍領階級的無力感,星爺跟工頭(六師弟)間的情誼相當感人,六師弟(林子聰)的角色及演出是本片值得一看的點,他跟星爺演活了小人物間難得的情誼,工頭在戳破星爺被兒子欺騙的天真後,為了自己嘴壞而後悔,星爺重回工地依然接受他還道歉的橋段,不禁讓人感嘆世間唯有真情可貴.

如果帶著想看無厘頭對白跟笑點的期待進戲院的話,可能會跟所想像有一段不太小的落差.而且本片搞笑的幾幕有點打斷觀眾的情緒,正被一些感人畫面醞釀出難得的眼淚時,突然同一幕tone變成令人錯愕的無厘頭搞笑,這是要訓練觀眾情緒轉變嗎?坦白說一瞬間笑不出來,畢竟大多數人沒有受過戲劇訓練去練習上一秒哭下一秒就笑吧.這部片中雖然星爺跟肥仔聰跟小朋友的演出可圈可點,但是那些搞笑的笑點有點破壞了塑造的氣氛(個人認為最成功的是小朋友打蟑螂那幕,其他有些就有點跳tone);如果拿來跟以前許不了(對,我有年紀)的一些電影比較,雖然都是讓小人物歷經千辛萬苦去追求幸福,然後在小人物的辛酸中帶出荒謬的笑點,但是以前在戲院裡跟著笑完後,有時後回想起卻會回想起片中生活的現實與哀愁,在本片中沒有這種回甘的感受,也許編劇不想強調藍領的被壓榨,所以全片真正的勢利眼都是貴族中學的老師,不是明顯的資產階級,幫助小人物的腳色事實上也是小人物(肥仔聰),至於女老師角色衝擊性不高,還是欣賞下他過人的美色就好了.關於結局有點草率這點是敗筆之一,突然間充斥著可愛的外星生物,讓前面的感傷消失無蹤,陪伴小狄度過許多難忘回憶的長江七號瞬間變成工廠大量製造的絨毛玩具.

戲劇要好看要有戲味,看戲真正要看的是戲中的人性,故事情節是骨架 人物是血肉,至於跟主軸偏離過遠的純爲搞笑而搞笑的笑點,是皮毛!長江七號雖然某些時刻讓我錯愕,還不失是部有血有肉的電影.

"Everything's Gonna Be Alright" by Sweetbox

這幾天連續的主題就是alright,不過風格完全都不同,這首歌最有名的部份是取用巴哈小溪先生的名作取樣"Air on the G String",雖然對喜愛古典的人來說也許會覺得它沾了這不朽名曲的光,不過能夠讓流行曲風的歌曲,不管是去依附在這名曲上,或是和諧的與名曲共存,製作跟編曲的功力還是很令人佩服的.對我來說"Air on the G String"依然是我最愛的古典曲目,不過偶而聽這首流行曲會覺得更能體會巴哈小溪先生的偉大.


話說這首歌也有兩個版本,且這個團換過兩位主唱,大家比較熟悉的是後來的甜心主唱Jade Villalon,不過事實上這首歌是第一張同名專輯裡面由當時的主唱Tina Harris首先唱的,後來在精選輯Jade Villalon又來個男女對唱混音Reborn.

Everything's Gonna Be Alright -Reborn-


Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright

Whoever thought the sun would come crashing down
My life in flames, my tears concrete the pain
We feel the end, the darkest, deepest riverbed
My book of life ain't complete without you here
Alone I sit and reminisce, sometimes
I miss your touch, your kiss, your smile
And meanwhile you know I never cry
Cuz deep down inside
You know our love will never ever die

Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up

Take your time, and I'll be here when you wake up

I never thought my heart would miss a single beat
Caress your hands, as I watch you while you sleep
So sweet, I weep as I search within
To find a cure, to bring you back again
And the sun will rise, open up your eyes
Surprise, just a blink of an eye
I try, I try to be positive
You're a fighter, so fight, wake up and live

Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up

Everything's gonna be alright

I'd give my life to only see you breathe again
Hand in hand as we walk on the white sands
To hear your voice, rejoice as you rise and say
This is the day that I wake, and pray, okay?
Tears in silence, as time just moves on
You can't hear it though, but I'm playin' my favorite songs
I miss you much, I wish you'd come back to me
You see I'd wait a lifetime, cuz you're my destiny

Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be okay
Everything's gonna be alright
Together we can take this one day at a time
Can you take my breath away?
Can you give him life today?
Is everything gonna be okay?
I'll be your strength
I'll be here when you wake up

相關閱讀
Sweetbox from WIKI
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetbox
1998年Sweetbox同名專輯
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetbox_%28album%29
2001年Jade Villalon當主唱的首張專輯
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classified_%28album%29
甜心主唱 Jade Villalon
http://www.jadevalerie.com/
巴哈小溪先生
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Sebastian_Bach
巴哈小溪先生的 Air on the G String
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_on_the_G_String

"It's Alright" by Ricky Martin

天氣不好,人的情緒多少受影響,不過這時候正是適合自High的好時候,經醫學證明自High對身心有益,所以再來一首也叫"It's Alright" Ricky Martin的歌,這首歌的西文版本其實比較酷,不過我還沒上第二外國語,所以先來個英文版.之前去健身房運動,放這首歌的時候個人覺得騎腳踏車踩的特別愉快,跑步特別振奮,所以好音樂的確是會影響運動的效果的.

附加一個真實人生的笑話,話說數年前跟朋友去跑跑步機,這位朋友非常愛孫燕姿的"綠光",於是當開始放綠光時,他很高興的說,"Yeah,我跑完這首歌再休息",......十分鐘過去了,呃,綠光有加長版嗎?我的好友終於放棄了,然後經過服務台的時候,聽到教練跟一個服務人員的對白,"ㄟ,你也不能喜歡一個歌就把它單曲repeat啊!這裡是健身房也!","我放三遍就停了好唄,幹麻一直唸!",我朋友的痠痛頓時轉變為軟腿,我笑到出現我畢生最明顯的腹肌."原來遇到同好了啊!!!"

Dissipate your every mood
I got nothing left to prove
Something, something I can't explain
Every time I look at you, I realize what I got to do
It's soothing and take you under the rain
And I feel so nice...
Crossing all the lines, taking an chance
Doing what we need to feel alive
And I feel so right...
Come and do it now, we got to scream, scream all night

[Chorus]
It's alright, don't be afraid don't hesitate now
Feels right, let's take it now don't wait for later
Tonight, and if it feels right just let it go
And if it's alright you got to let it flow [2x]
If I'm wrong don't want to know
If I'm right just let it show
It's crazy, so crazy it just might be
I only care about today, tomorrow is too far away
Let's take it, and run run away with me
It feels so nice...
Crossing all the lines, taking any chance
Doing what we need to feel alive
Yeah it feels so right...
Come and do it now, we got to scream, scream all night

[Repeat Chorus]

I think I love you, and I need you by my side baby to the morning light
I know I want you, what I got for you is love
I got love, love, love, love...

[Repeat Chorus]

Don't be afraid don't hesitate now
Let's take it now don't wait for later
And if it feel right just let it go
And if it's alright you got to let it flow [2x]